The Lynn School Committee last week voted unanimously to allow birth control, condoms and sex education to be offered at high schools. As a mother of an 18-year-old son, I’m thankful for this type of forward-thinking initiative.
I’m part of the first generation in my family to obtain a college degree, and the first one in my entire clan to obtain two master’s degrees. My mom, the most responsible person I’ve ever met, did not graduate college because during her first semester, when she was 17, she got pregnant with me, and had to drop out. She swore to herself that she would finish eventually, but once I was born, she and my dad separated, and the idea became a blurry memory.
As she has told me repeatedly, “My time to go to school was occupied by my time to be a mother and provide for you.” My mom made the difficult decision to immigrate to this country to seek better opportunities, leaving me behind to live with my grandmother. My point is that thanks to my mother putting my needs before hers, I had the unique opportunity to get an education. I missed out on being with her, but I was given the key to unlock further opportunities. What really upsets me about this is that nobody should have to make those very difficult choices at the age of 17, especially when all of it could have been prevented with proper sex education and some kind of contraceptive method.
If we take a look at the city of Lynn, many of our teens are having to make those very difficult choices daily. According to Julie Chan, a pediatric nurse practitioner from Lynn Tech, “Last year, there were 57 pregnant minors, or students under 18 years old, in the Lynn Public Schools, and seven of those cases were second pregnancies. This year, there have been 21 cases of chlamydia in the district’s schools. According to the most recent report from the Department of Public Health, Lynn’s teen birth rate was 29.2 births per 1,000 girls aged 15 to 19 in 2016, far exceeding the state’s rate that year of 8.5.”
Is this the future we want for them? I don’t know about your kids, but I know that I’ve talked excessively about drugs and sex to mine, but it’s always like pulling teeth. He will respond by saying, “Mom, I don’t want to talk to you about this.” But since I’m persistent, I will still continue to talk, and find moments and opportunities to get the message across. So, at least on my end, I appreciate any other source of relevant and accurate information that my son can receive as well as get support if needed.
I don’t understand the discontent of other parents. Did you guys forget when you were teenagers? How many can truly say they were honest with their parents about everything that was going on in their lives? So, what makes you think your kid is any different than you were?
Others are complaining about the state taking the role that rightfully belongs to parents to discuss topics such as sexuality and prevention. But the way I see it, this initiative does not exclude the role of a parent to be an educator and guide. If anything, it helps amplify the message. And let’s not forget that there are children with absentee parents, or who lack any positive role models in their lives. So where would these kids get that type of comprehensive dialogue?
For those who are concerned about the negative health effects of contraceptive methods such as the pill, this is a great opportunity to have a conversation with your teens, and their health providers, and make them aware of your concerns.
And let’s not forget the cycle of poverty that we continue to replicate when teenagers get pregnant. Statistics have shown that many drop out of school while few pursue college. So what type of quality of life are we offering to the babies of these babies? And I know there is always someone who knows someone who achieves every goal and dream and now holds a tremendous job and is doing great, and the child is doing exceptionally well. That’s the exception. Most do not do well. They have to find low-wage jobs. And for them, the same way it was for my mom, the dream of furthering their aspirations becomes a blurry memory.
So, thank you, School Committee members and Superintendent Dr. Patrick Tutwiler, for making the right decision. We cannot continue to deny the fact that kids, with or without their parents’ consent or knowledge, are sexually active. Let’s be real about it, and make sure they are safe. It is critical that our kids make smart choices when it comes to sex. Therefore, I appreciate from the bottom of my heart what you are doing. I think this is a great initiative, and I hope that the critics can see the benefits.