Charles: Resolutions? How about we keep on keepin’ on

So, it’s the third day of the new year, and people are undoubtedly still asking about your resolutions. And we’ve been talking about all the changes we’re going to make in our lives for the better part of a week now.

My colleague, Bill, has resolved to be more patient and show more kindness, despite the frustrations of dealing with the morons and idiots who walk among us. He always has seemed kind anyway. It probably won’t be much of a stretch.

Another colleague, Gayla, correctly points out that even though many of us start out with the best of intentions (i.e., eat less, exercise more), old habits are hard to break — and the odds are not in our favor.

And my friend and colleague, Steve, has given us a look back at some of the people and places he wishes he could revisit, or visit for the first time — forgoing predictions of what’s on our horizons.

Me? I’ve decided we’re looking at this whole resolutions thing wrong. You know the serenity prayer that talks about accepting the things we can’t change? I’m going along with that — ignoring the other part about courage in changing the things we can. I’m not a coward, I’m just lazy.

So, among my resolutions:

I’m going to make sure to leave time in my busy schedule for a good nap.

As a night worker, I haven’t had a decent sleep schedule for about 40 years, so why start now? All the rules about going to bed and waking up the same time every day don’t apply to anyone who isn’t a 9-5 worker, or who wants to actually have a life other than work.

But naps are good any time, even a couple of hours before I have to go to bed. Call it pre-gaming for old people, if you must.

I’m going to resolve to kill more plants.

See, if I make it my mission to see my plants die every fall when I bring them in too late (after the first frost), it won’t hurt so much when I see them coughing and dying. When my daughter was doing her college search and considering the agricultural university I went to, her father used to tease her and say if she went there, she would become a farmer. I countered with, look at all these dead plants! Did I become a farmer?

I have been known to grow beautiful flowers, a few herbs and a cactus. But I have also managed to kill a decades-old rubber tree plant, which I had been told is a nearly impossible task.

I love farmers (they do feed us all), and yes, my daughter did pick my school. I also still love Silo Tech, but obviously I didn’t go there for an agricultural degree.

I resolve to clean out my three kitchen junk drawers — eventually. Maybe this year, probably not. But sometime in my lifetime (or maybe the next), I’m going to tackle the junk drawers. Just those three though. The rest of my house of horrors will continue to go to hell.

I resolve to continue to look on some of my self-indulgent practices, like mani-pedis, as necessities and not the lifestyle of a spoiled first worlder. I will continue to act as if having nice nails is essential to my job in presenting a professional appearance, even as I continue to dress for the most part like an adolescent boy.

I resolve to get my roots colored as needed, even though I am fully aware that as I get even older, I’m not fooling anyone, just as no one is fooled by a balding man’s combover. God willing, one day I will be in my 70s, 80s, and maybe even 90s, with long dark hair. I will look even more ridiculous than I do now. I resolve not to care.

And finally, I resolve to dance like nobody is watching, remember that if I’m not part of the solution, I’m part of the problem, and to love my family and friends like there is no tomorrow. Because tomorrow isn’t promised to any of us, and yet we all seem to forget that.

Have yourself a great 2019.

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