Barbara and Robert Champigny on their wedding day.
Editor’s note: The beginning of the end of Robert Champigny’s life began in 2007 when he underwent knee surgery. While his doctor prescribed opioids for pain, he became addicted and couldn’t free himself from the drugs. He died four years later. His wife, Barbara, has written a remembrance on the fifth anniversary of his death in the hopes that lessons can be learned to spare another family from the horror.
In memory of my husband, Robert Champigny
May 16, 1956 – Oct. 11, 2011
On the fifth anniversary of my husband’s death, I want to tell our story in the hopes that it will help another family or another addict.
Trying to help someone who is addicted to opioids or alcohol is heartbreaking, enraging and a family struggle. Everyone around the addict suffers as a result of the disease. My husband was a recovering alcoholic who fought his addiction for many years.
In 1992, we got married, built a home in Groveland and had a beautiful baby girl named Emily in 1993. My son, Joseph, from my first marriage, entered second grade and we were all happy. Bob stayed sober for many years. Not that he wouldn’t slip occasionally, especially if we were socializing with friends. The holidays were especially difficult for him. When I confronted him, he would always promise to stop, but he couldn’t control the disease.
In 2007, Bob had his knee replaced and it started him on the road from alcohol to prescription drug abuse. During the summer of 2010, I discovered that he had stolen medication from me and my mother. I screamed and cried and was filled with rage. I yelled at him that he was killing himself and killing us too. I told him I was sick of watching his illness steal the goodness from him.
That summer I told my husband that he had to leave because he was still on drugs. While we argued, he swallowed a bottle of pills in front of me and said this was the only way he could leave us. I called 911. He was taken to the emergency room and put in intensive care. He almost died, and I felt so helpless to help him anymore. I knew it was important to be strong and concentrate on taking care of our daughter. I loved my husband, but I could not take him back. I cried many nights missing him.
Bob went to live with his mother. It turned out to be the beginning of the end. Over the next several months, he was involved in five car accidents and suffered from seizures due to his drug use.
An addict will take you down this road so many times that you become numb. In May of 2010 Bob totaled his car. The next night he was arrested for driving under the influence of drugs and spent two nights in jail, until his mom bailed him out.
His lawyer told him that he was facing up to five years in jail, expensive fines and legal costs. Bob contacted his company’s union and they sent him to a 90-day drug rehab.
He was released in August and was doing very well. He asked if he could join my sister, my son and Emily to move her into college. I agreed. We made the trip together as a family and moved our daughter into her dorm. We spent a wonderful four days as a family and experienced a peacefulness and love that we had not had seen in a long time.
Little did we know what was coming. Emily was scheduled to come home for a long weekend in October. We planned to go out for dinner as a family and do some school-related shopping with her.
On Oct. 10, 2011, I had an overwhelming feeling of dread. I couldn’t shake it. I knew something was wrong with Bob. I called him on the phone. We talked about our plans for the coming weekend with Emily. As we were ready to hang up and say goodbye, he always said ‘Goodnight, honey’ and I said the same.
The next morning I received a phone call from his cousin, telling me that he had passed away in his sleep. I dropped the phone and fell to the floor screaming. I called the school to tell them we were coming and asked if they had a quiet place for us to tell Emily. When our family arrived, they put us in a conference room and they called Emily down to the office. I will never forget watching her walk down that hallway, so happy to be a college student and starting her life. But in a split second her life changed forever.
Bob saw her off to school and we are extremely grateful that we had that time with him. But she will not have her father give her away when she gets married or hold her first baby.
I thank God for my son Joe, who has stepped up to the plate and tries to fill the shoes of a father who just couldn’t chase his demons away.
Over the years, people have asked me is there anything that you could have done differently. The answer is: I tried everything. Each time Bob was high or sick from alcohol, I tried something different. Sometimes I yelled, often I prayed, but most importantly I always loved. I treated him with respect, dignity and devotion. I took him to doctors, therapists, psychiatrists, emergency rooms, hospitals, AA meetings and church. I even went back to school and got a certificate in alcohol and drug abuse counseling. He had a disease that had physical, mental and moral consequences. I learned that there is nothing I could have done to make my husband stop drinking or abusing prescription drugs.
There are signs that your loved one is headed down the path to addiction. For example, they could have an attitude change and be very irritable, start sleeping more and have a change in their routine. Addicts are very good at manipulating their family into giving them another chance, making it seem to be just a phase or a slip-up and they can stop at any time. An addict will have financial problems and sometimes change their social network of friends. My husband’s addiction led to shame, depression, anxiety, stress and anger, not just for him but for his family, especially his mother and me. In many instances, Bob used poor judgment and did things that he normally wouldn’t do if it hadn’t been for his addiction.
I believe Bob is watching over us from a much better place and he is at peace with himself. When someone you love dies in a way that seems so unnecessary, such as an overdose or suicide, it leaves you with a feeling of grief that is like a demon.
May God bless every parent, spouse, sibling and the children suffering from a loved one’s struggle with addiction, especially the children who lose someone to an overdose.
Barbara Champigny is a Lynn native and graduate of Lynn English High School.
