ITEM PHOTO BY SPENSER HASAK
Natan Braz, 12, left, throws up a three-pointer as Jose Lendor, 12, middle, and Kyle Lobao, 12, all of Peabody, watch it go at Emerson Park on Thursday.
By MATT DEMIRS
Summer vacation raises concerns for parents as they decide what limits to put on their children’s freedom.
As kids pull on their parents’ heartstrings to ride their bike a few blocks farther than last summer, some parents are saying no.
“My son just turned 10, so I don’t let him go anywhere without us,” Nina Neto said. “It’s dangerous because you don’t know everybody walking around the streets. I trust him, but I don’t know everyone else.”
Maybe when her son is 15 or 16, Neto will think about letting him out on his own, she said.
But Neto isn’t the only mother keeping her kids within close view.
“We’re keeping our kids close because of safety,” said Julie Smith said, mother of a toddler.
She plans to spend her summers at the park, beach, and backyard with her kids in sight.
Shannon Hetherington said her brother-in-law has told her everything that happens today existed when they were growing up. The only difference is now the media tells us what’s going on.
“If you hear about it, you end up feeling the need to do something about it,” she said.
While Smith and her family live on Lynnfield Street, she won’t allow her children to walk to Gowdy Park on their own until they are at least 10.
Hetherington and Smith’s children do not have cell phones, but said they’ll eventually purchase them for their kids.
“And I would say that wouldn’t be until 12 or 13,” Smith said.
Swampscott family therapist Anna Svetchnikov said the amount of freedom given to children shouldn’t reflect their age, but how mature they are.
“It isn’t so much about age, but their level of personal development,” she said. “There are 5-year-olds who are mature enough to go outside and do the right thing just like there are 13-year-olds who can’t be trusted when they are out on their own.”
Svetchnikov, a mother herself, said she understands parents’ concerns. But she doesn’t think playing helicopter parent is the best idea.
“Too much supervision doesn’t allow children to become independent,” she said.
For kids who are given freedom to venture farther than the end of the street, parents must devise ways to give look out for their best interests.
Karen Braz, mother of 12-year-old Nathan Braz, checks up on him by driving by every couple of hours, she said.
Braz swore she wouldn’t get him a phone until he was in the eighth grade. But she gave in when she saw how important it would be for him to get in touch with her when he’s out.
Nathan said he and his mom text each other to check in, as well as update her on where he is going and who he is with.
One of Nathan’s friends admitted his mother actually tracks his location with the Find My Friends App on the iPhone.
When Karen Braz was younger, she remembers having pretty free summers, she said, and coming home to check in for lunch since there weren’t cell phones.
Still, she sets limits for her son, cell phone or not.
“As parents, we have to be stricter now because the nature of everything happening in the world,” she said.
One of the reasons she gives her son more independence is because he’s proven he’s dependable, she said.
“Whenever he or any of my kids leave the house I say ‘always make good choices,’” she said.
Matt Demirs can be reached at [email protected].