SCREENSHOT FROM ANIMAL ADVENTURE PARK
April the Giraffe is pictured in a video screenshot.
By BILL BROTHERTON
I wish April the Giraffe would have her damn baby already!
At this rate, it’ll be … well … April, by the time the blessed event occurs. And she’s already into the 15th month of her pregnancy.
In case you haven’t been paying attention, Animal Adventure Park in Harpursville, N.Y., has been live streaming the impending mom-to-be for what seems like months now. Since February, more than 100,000 animal lovers have been glued to their computer screens, hoping to see the baby, a girl it’s speculated, arrive — yes, they think they know the baby’s sex.
No humans are having sex, of course, because they’re preoccupied with watching the result of April’s dalliance with Oliver, who is 10 years her junior. She’s a cougar, not a giraffe!
But I digress.
There was quite a scare Friday night. The live stream just stopped, went black, and everyone panicked and assumed the worst, that something went wrong and the vets were scrambling to save mama or baby’s life. But it was just a website glitch.
It won’t be long now, the park teases. Her tail is sticking out, that’s a sign the baby’s on its way. Her ossicones — the “things” on her head — are more pronounced. Mammary development is on point; could be any minute now. They said that three days ago. Liars!
Yet we wait and watch, and still no baby, who, by the way will weigh around 150 pounds and be about 6 feet tall at birth. The front hooves will come out first followed by the snout. As I type this, April is lying down in her pen, doing nothing. Seasons will change before the newborn shows up. And it’s not like this is the first time 15-year-old April has gone through this process. The poor thing has already birthed three calves.
https://newitemlive.wpengine.com/news/planning-board-oks-land-transfer-for-ymca/
It’s kind of cute watching the staff feed her yummy carrot treats or mega-beach-ball-size heads of lettuce, though. She wolfs it right down.
Oliver, the dad, is in a pen next to her. He seems bored by the whole thing, but he’s a young’un at 5 years old. It’s his first child — I mean calf. Oliver keeps looking at his watch and muttering something about missing the Final Four basketball tournament. He only cares about necking — a little giraffe humor there. The bulls (male giraffes) only really care about three things: fighting, eating and having sex, and the bulls take no part in rearing the young. Sounds like some guys I know.
But I digress.
Anyway, I’ve wasted hours checking in on April. You can too. Here: www.aprilthegiraffe.com
I’m sure the baby will arrive any minute now …
Bill Brotherton is the Item’s Features editor. He can be reached at [email protected].